Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Huahuahuaaaa.....

Huahuahuaaaa....

I'm pregnant!! THE test was positive, and i'm officially pregnant!!!

Sgt3 unexpected. It's unbelievable!!

Aku gigil sey waktu lps test result tu kua. Huhuuu....

Smlm, aku g watson @ anjung. Then, i was like, saje je la kite try test nk, kite bli tester kit murahan sudaa...mcm konon nk menmain test aa (time luqman dlu, siap bli Clear Blu yang mahal gile tu, ish3...).

Then mlm tu, lps abang mandi, was my turn to have my bath. Abang jg Luqman.
Lepas letak mende panjang tu dlm bekas, mule2 ade satu line, then tetibe kua lagi satu line (pitamm). Aku mandi smbil gigil2.



Ikutkan ape la sgt, positip peknen je pon kan. Tp sb sgt3 unexpected, sb konon kalu fully bf bb bole jarakkan anak, n ktorg pon mmg ade practice natural birth control. Tp...nmpknye accident jugak. Dah Allah swt nk bagi, ye tak?

Then lepas mandi, aku turun bawah smbil bawak tester tu (sorok kt blkg). Dah smpai dekat abang, aku letak depan die. Die pandang. Then aku ckp, "abang, ayang peknen!".

Tau die ckp pe? "Padan muke. Tu la kedekut lagi". I was like, eh? (tepuk dahi, pitamm kali kedua).

Huhuhuuu...aku peknen...lagi...

N Luqman, is stilla bb. Jalan pon xtau lg. Ckp apetah lagi. Patut la susu aku susut gile2.....huhuhuuuuu....

Smpai skang, aku still ase xpcaye, n smacam sukar menerime kenyataan. Huhuuu...

Cian Luqman, xpuas minum susu mama lg. Aku sedih....

Aku tau aku patut hepi. Tapi aku jd sgt sedih 4 Luqman. Sgt2 sedih...

Lum puas die bermanje. Aku mcm baru je dpt terime kenyataan yang aku ade anak sorg, nk ade lg sorg??

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Officially in Putrajaya...

aku dah lame xupdate, aku tau...

aku nk sgt..tp..aku tpakse allocate mase utk bende2 len yg perlu lbh perhatian :(

seyes...byk sgt yg dh terjadi for the past 2 weeks. almost 3, actually...

for the record, we've are now officially on our own @ putrajaya, since 2nd January 2010.

luqman has started goin to school (taska je pon :P just call it that anyway..) since 4th January.

Nie ade skit gmba yang aku curik2 amek waktu di taska Luqman, Taska Cendekiawan, Presint 9. Kat bilik bb nie ade 2 cikgu, yang jage 9 bb (currently).

Luqman, yang sedang mrangkak, pakai baju biru, nmpak sipi2 je tu..

Gmba Luqman, close-up-curik2 :P

Nie view yang nmpk hampir keseluruhan bilik, ade 4 bb cot. Penjuru tepu tu adalah tpt budak2 men, dorg lambakkan menan di situ. Dah bese tengok Luqman men sorg (n mcm mane aku jg kebersihan n basuh menan die slalu), ase menan die nmpk buruk n xbape bersih, must be sb budak2 share2 makan2 menan2 tu sume :(

Luqman adalah yang sedang duduk tu

cuti seminggu yang aku ckp ari tu...igt dpt la aku catch up, tulis stuffs yg ptg yg jadik b4 nie. hampeh..toksah kn tulis blog. nk tdo siang pon xsmpat. most of the time terisi dengan kemas barang/umah (smpai skang xdpt abis kmas pon. ish3...) and went to taska to check on luqman. ye la..pg aku anta dlm ko 830 mcm tu, then ko 1 aku g lagi smpai ko 145 ke, patu petang aku amek die ko 5. that n some time for makan, aku ade skit je lg belen mase utk mengemas la hape.

penat xilang aku dh kne kje smule. haihh..

then there was my milk supply dwindling. puas aku pk n cari nape susu aku sgt2 susut. mkin aku penat sgt n kurg tdo. yup, mmg penah jadik gitu. or may be sebab aku depress. pon pernah jugak affected. mungkin ke sebab aku dh mule kurg jage mkn? aku dh mule minum teh, kopi, soft drinks..w/pun bkn dlm jumlah yg byk or kerap, tp aku dh xrestrain diri aku lg. sebab tu pon ye kot...hmm...susu pon dh xamek 2 kali sehari. bese minum sekali je sehari. ke sebab sejak pndah duduk sndri ni aku xmkn vitamin ke? waa..banyaknye possibility.

Nie je yang aku dapat lepas pam smpai stengah jam..

so...aku kembali cube jage sume tu balik. but still my milk supply skit. xla kering langsung. tp smpai la tahap xeven ckup utk bekal luqman sehari kt taska. kalu dulu siap berlebih lg. org kate kalu susu dh drop mmg susah nk up balik. takes time. mkin gk...i thought...

sian luqman. very nite jage almost every hour. aku pasti sebab susu aku skit. die cepat lapa balik. sekali minum lame lak tu. haihh..dan kesannye kat aku jugak. i got more n more tired bcoz of lesser n lesser sleep at nite. seyes groggy during the day. kje lak byk gile sejak masuk thn baru nie. in a way...i kinda like it cos aku ase mcm karier aku makin berkembang (echehh..ayat xle blah..), bkn la...tp bile diberi lebih tgjwb, pulak tu handle byk projek at the same time, seyes sgt mencabar n skit thrill dlm pade cube mngeja deadline. ase skit bsmagat n challenging at the same time. cmane ckp eh? cenggitu aa...

tapi...it comes with a huge TAPI...when u cant really concentrate cos ur too xhausted...hmm...sedikit tension di situ.

nonetheless...all in all...i kinda like my new life @ our new (old actually) house. aku bleh pakai baju pe aku ske :P bile aku ske. ade privacy. the whole house's just 4 me n abang n luqman. drawback nye lak...got to do everything on our own. but abang has been a great help. die sgt banyak tolong. kalu tak aku ase aku dh penyet-melepet-sekeping mcm katun kne gelek ketapi. ish3...

so my routine will start @ 545am in the morning. siap nk g kje, pack susu luqman dlm bag, mk sure all his stuff complete. salin pampers luqman. dlm ko 7-7 sku mcm tu gerak la (patutnye. tp kalu mamat tu dh bangun...ade skit susah n lmbt la aku jadiknye. punch kad aku sjak 2 mnjak ni emmg slalu merah. putrajaya nie jems mmg xingt. korg xcaye ek? try duduk/kje sni tengok. esp to those yg kje @ presint 1 atau lebih tepat lg parcel E. seyes horror die nye jems. 2nd week, even dh start kje aku still jenguk luqman kt taska @ lunch hour. just to see if he's ok. nkbg susu..slalu dorg baru je bg susu.tp kdg2 aku bg la gk w/pun die minum skit je.sometimes die jage n men2. kadang2 tdo. lantak la org jage tu nk ckp pe pon. aku just wanna make sure my luqman's ok.tp sejak mgu nie (week #3), aku dh xg jenguk lagi. eh..smlm aku ade g. tp die tdo.so aku tengok then aku balik. ptg ko 5 aku bergegas nk g amek luqman.

slalu pon smpai kt die dlm 530 ke 540 mcm tu. ko 6-6 lbh smpai umah. kalu berdue dgn mamat tu je mmg aku xle wat ape. but i try to anyhow. cook? definitely cannot. kalu dpt pon stk potong bawang je la. tu pon amek mase dekat sejam. ish3...

luqman sgt clingy. aku xle g jauh skit dari die. sebolehnye nk aku ade sekitar 1m radius je dari die. kalu aku ade stu, die hepi n men. aku berdiri je die start jerit n merangkak n dtg peluk kaki aku. haihhh...what to do? xsmpai atie weh bi die peluk2 kaki aku gitu. nk g kncing pon susah.

so the best i can do is to wait 4 his abah to come home. abah balik, mndi then baru mama mandi. patu baru pk mkn. slalunye abah blk dh bli mkn. lps mkn aku sibuk nk cuci botol la, uruskn susu luqman la (masukkan dlm botol siap2 then masuk peti ais). pack baju2 luqman, smyg....tau2 dh ko 1030 - 11. dh kne tdo. nasib baik ade abah luqman tolg basuh n jemo baju. kalu x..huhu...

so thats that...

perihal susu masih sgt merisau kn aku. seyes, smpai sehari pam 3 kali dpt 9oz je. kdg2 sekali pam nk dpt 2oz pon susah. xpenah2 lak aku cm ni. dh masuk mgu ke-3, xkn stil xde perubahan +ve pon. member aku sorg, W pon same senasib dgn aku. bile pam nipple jd sakit. tp..kami ttp cube gigihkn jugak. hope everything will be better for us.

then on monday, W told me a shocking news. she took THE test, n it's +ve. she's pregnant! die fully bfeed anak die. anak die sebaye luqman. in fact suppose waktu ktorg same2 peknen dlu, due date kami beze 2-3 hari je. tp sebab luqman kua awal, jadi la bze 2 mgu. die n hb agk susah terime kenyataan tu n cdg nk g chk doktor the followg day.

actually, my instinct kinda tells me that i might too, b pregnant. even b4 W came up to me wit that of hers. tp aku buang jauh2 perasaan/perasan tu. huhuuu....what if.....